Laverne Lauren (Channel 4's Alternative Election Night) interview

The evening of May 6th will see much of the nation glued to the TV screens in the wait to discover the outcome of the forthcoming General Election. This year, Channel 4 is getting in on the act with Channel 4's Alternative Election Night. It promises to be four hours of comedy and entertainment mixed in with serious political analysis and up-to-the-minute news. And there won’t be a Dimbleby in sight. Instead, coverage will be presented by Jimmy Carr, David Mitchell, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne.

Here, Lauren reveals a little bit more about the night, and tries very, very hard not to reveal who she’s voting for..


Would you describe yourself as a political person?

Yeah, certainly I am. Because of being a broadcaster, and particularly having a show on the BBC, I’m not in your face about it. There are certain broadcasting regulations that I’ve got to adhere to. But personally, yeah, I am pretty political, of course.

As you say, you have to keep your political sentiments under wraps when you’re presenting on the BBC. Will you have more of a free rein on the night on Channel 4, or will you have to be broadly impartial again?

I think what I’m looking forward to is the fact that it’ll be interesting no matter what happens. What’s amazing about this election is that nobody knows what’s going to happen, all bets are off. So I don’t really know whether it’s going to be about cutting loose and saying what I think, I think the most fascinating thing about this election is what everybody else thinks. Bloody hell, what’s going to happen? It’s all going nuts, it’s changing every day. So I think that’s what’s going to be interesting. Of course we’re there to react and give our opinions, react to what people are saying and play devil’s advocate. But I think actually what’s more interesting than watching a bunch of loud-mouthed presenters mouthing off is finding out what the rest of the country thinks.

You’re from Sunderland. I’m guessing it’s not a massive Tory heartland?

It’s not, no. The funny thing about Sunderland South, which is the constituency I grew up in, historically always declares first. So it’s a really key constituency, and all there are always live link ups to the count. I think we’re going to do a live link-up as well. I saw Charlie Brooker the other day, and I told him about my mum, who always volunteers to do the count, and we were laughing about the idea of getting my mum out for the live link-up. I told her about it at the weekend, and she was absolutely horrified.

You’ve done Have I Got News for You before. Were you on with any politicians?

No, I don’t think I was. It’s a bit of a hazy memory, to be honest, because my child was five weeks old. It wasn’t the week that I had the strongest grasp of current affairs, funnily enough. I did get there and think “Oh my God, I’ve not read a newspaper for weeks,” and then read everything really quickly in a day. But no, I don’t think I did do it with any politicians. But I did interview Gordon Brown a couple of weeks ago.

On your radio show?

No, I did a profile piece on him for Grazia magazine.

How was it?

It was really interesting. I shadowed him for a couple of weeks, because it was quite a big piece, and it was really interesting seeing him in quite a few different situations. I was there when Nicolas Sarkozy came over, and they just loved each other. They were really, really good friends, there was lots of shoulder punching and that sort of thing. You could see Gordon brown being very powerful and blokey and that situation. But then equally, there was an International Women’s Day event and Harriet Harman introduced him by saying “This is what a feminist looks like,” and he was so different. It was quite interesting to see him on a few different days, rather than just sitting him down to do one quick interview. And he was actually very funny. And obviously very, very smart. And he had that slight awkwardness in certain situations. He said to me that his favourite bit of his job is getting out and meeting people, which is funny, because I don’t think that’s what he’s best at. It was a really interesting experience. I really enjoyed it.

And did he claim that along with his Arctic Monkeys albums he had all of Kenickie’s stuff?

[Laughs] Sadly he said nothing about music, actually.

I don’t expect you to tell me how you’re going to vote, but have you decided who you’re going to vote for at this election?

Yes, I have. I have to look at the local councillors, because it’s the council elections on the same day, but I know who I’m voting for in the General Election. I think I know, anyway.

And although you can’t say how you’re voting, I’m guessing nobody’s going to mistake you or Charlie Brooker for Tories, are they?

I couldn’t possibly comment. I might turn up wearing Boden on the night. Besides, we’re both wildly rich these days. And we’re getting old. So maybe that’ll change everything.

What’s going to happen on the night itself? On Channel 4, I mean – I’m not asking you to predict the election result.

Good, thanks! We’re still planning it all at the moment, but I think we’re going to have live link ups, so if anything interesting happens we can cut to it straight away, but at the same time we’re going to have some specially recorded programmes to show, so that it’s not going to be just hours and hours and hours of staring at an empty leisure centre hall while a count goes on. So I think there’s a Come Dine With Me special where they’re all MPs, and Charlie’s done a You’ve Been Watching election special as well. And then there’s going to be studio stuff with me and Jimmy and David and Charlie as well. I’m really excited about that, because for me, you couldn’t get three better people to host. That’s going to be a really good aspect of it, because it’s a really interesting mix of people. And they’re funny, those three, so it’s bound to be funny.

What’s the balance going to be? Is there going to be some serious political analysis in there?

I’m waiting to find out about the exact way we’re going to cover it all, but I think it’ll be intelligent, with an element of anarchy. That’s what I would hope, anyway. I don’t want it to be “Oh, isn’t politics boring, let’s change the subject.” I wouldn’t have thought they’d ask us to host it if they didn’t want it to be informed. But at the same time, it’s obviously an alternative election night. So it’s not going to watching some idiot light his farts, but it is going to be funny and entertaining, and also hopefully smart and insightful. Look at the kind of stuff that Charlie and David come up with every week in their columns - hopefully it’s going to be like that.

You’re already pretty busy, with your radio show and your family. Are you going to swot up on your knowledge of all the salient facts before the night, or just turn up and wing it?

I’m kind of a politics geek anyway, really. I love reading the newspapers, I’m into all that stuff that you shouldn’t admit to, like the Guardian comments board, I’m totally addicted! And the Today programme podcasts, which have been really instrumental in me understanding the economic policies of the parties this time around. Without Evan Davis to explain it, most of it would have gone way over my head. So to be honest I’m quite engaged in all of that stuff anyway, because I am a grown-up and I’ve got a child and one on the way, so that’s my life now. But I’ll definitely be doing some extra swotting up. I was absolutely glued to the first leaders’ debate, and I can’t wait for Thursday. I loved it, I loved it! I wish that Harry Hill had hosted it though; “There’s only one way to settle this – FIGHT!” I think he would have done it brilliantly, and he would have looked smarter than them with his enormous collars. He’d have given it an aesthetic edge. As a family we’re always up on election night watching the live coverage.

So this time you’ll be up half the night watching the results come in, but you’ll be getting paid for it as well!

It’s weird, I know! Keep feel like I’m going to get a phone call any minute telling me it’s a joke. And my day job is playing records. I don’t understand my job – I get paid to do all my favourite things; shoot the breeze, play records, dress up – and now this.

Have you ever done a live four-hour show before?

I do three hours on the radio every day. Have I done four hours live on telly? I think I’ve done longer, ‘cos I do Glastonbury every year and stuff like that. I do loads of festival coverage and lots of that kind of event. Last year at Glastonbury, because I was doing it for 6 Music and also for BBC2, I did three hours on telly and then four hours on the radio – I was like a one-woman telethon, it was insane.

You’re quite the renaissance woman, doing Glastonbury one moment and the General Election the next. Do you think next year we should get David Dimbleby to go and cover Glastonbury?

Well, good luck to him on that score! I don’t see why not. Alastair Stewart, who did the ITV Election Debate, used to be a bit of a regular face at the festivals actually, in the 1990s. There are numerous people I know who have had exchanges with him. Or maybe it was John Suchet, actually…

Your radio show is in the morning, and you’re used to early starts. Are you going to be able to stay awake until 1am, or are we likely to see you doze off live on air?

I’m pregnant as well, so naturally winky-winky sleeps time tends to kick in around 10pm. But it’s going to be so exciting. I can’t decide whether it’s pathetic or great that I’m as excited as I am about all of it. Last Thursday I was beside myself with excitement all day before the debate. So I think May 6th will be a reasonably adrenal night, and I’m going to be in some great company, so I think I’ll be wide awake. I could always get Jimmy to slap me in the face if I started to fall asleep.

Being pregnant, you’ve also got all these hormones flying round your body. If the election doesn’t go the way you want it to, might we see you slowly fall apart and start weeping during the evening?

I don’t know. It’s really weird. Obviously because now everybody’s saying it’s a three-horse race, I’m trying to go through all these different scenarios in my head ands thinking “How would I feel if...” And I just don’t know. I don’t think I’d crumble like that, but I honestly don’t know how I’d feel. You do most TV shows and you pretty much know what the outcome is going to be. This time it’s like jumping off a cliff – you just don’t know where you’re going to land. So I actually genuinely don’t know how I’m going to feel. But whatever happens on our show, it’s going to be interesting and funny and presented in a sharp and entertaining way. But will I cry? I don’t know. Perhaps I should remember that if the people I didn’t want to get in got in, I would be much better off.

Obviously you’ve got to have people of all political persuasions on the programme. Have you thought about inviting the Spice Girls along to the night? [Lauren once referred to the Spice Girls as ‘Tory scum’. A long time ago.]

The Spice Girls are so nice – I’ve met them subsequently and felt terrible. I think the Spice Girls are simply adorable. I kind of wish they would leave politics alone. I still retain that impulse. I’ve seen Geri Halliwell speak at the House of Commons actually. It was not the most compelling speech I’ve ever seen anyone make. While I applaud the sentiment behind it, and the thing that brought her there, and the reason that she wanted to be there, you kind of do wish that celebrities would butt the fuck out. That’s equally why I don’t want to ram my politics down anyone’s throat.

Take note Gary Barlow.

Oh God, I know! Luckily I had the sound off when that came on the news.


Channel 4's Alternative Election Night airs at 9pm on Channel 4 on Thursday 6th May 2010.