Conan (Xbox 360)

Fantastically voiced by Ron Pearlman, Conan has the body of Schwartzenegger, the swagger of a wrestler and the comic book banter of The Hulk. He has only two things on his mind, sex and violence. Which is probably why this game involves little more than moving along a one-way route slaying everyone who crosses your path and rescuing scantily clad (pretty much naked to be honest) maidens along the way. The action is strung together by a loose plot which really only serves to change the locations of the slaughter.

Killing enemies results in experience points which you can spend at any time on upgrading your combos, which I was glad to see included the famous “Camel Punch”. The harder they are the more brutal they become. Starting with severing both arms, moving on to cutting bodies in half and tearing out victims guts with your bare hands. These combos are simple to master, usually being nothing more than a series of button presses. However, a constant onslaught of enemies means you're always upgrading so you won't run out of bad guys to try new blood spraying combos on.

Graphically the game goes from terrible to fantastic - sometimes you feel like you could be playing a Boris Vallejo fantasy art painting, but at other times it's a bit more like the adolescent fan art you'd expect to see in the letters page of 2000AD.
Ron Pearlman. Swords. Blood. Guts. Bare boobs. What more could you want? Maybe a beer?

Released on 28th September 2007 by THQ.

Written by Nick Gripton.