Clash Of The Titans

A horse with wings. A woman cursed with snakes for hair and a gaze that could turn men to stone. A pantheon of gods as reckless and selfish as man himself. The Ancient Greeks sure knew how to mix wonder with humanity. Shame, then, that this Clash Of The Titans remake forgot both.

Sam ‘Avatar’ Worthington makes for a buff fisherman called Perseus, whose biggest problems are the war between gods and mortals that’s killed his family, and the Ozzie accent that intermittently pokes through his Russell Crowe grunts. Liam Neeson stands handsomely as Zeus, ruler of Mount Olympus and mankind, while Ralph Fiennes bends his back and rasps as an inventive take on Hades, Lord of the Underworld. Perseus finds out he’s a demigod, goes on a mission to kill monsters for flimsy reasons, and director Louis Leterrier hopes his audience will be too dazzled by the visuals to notice the woeful... everything else. Three writers? Really? You would’ve guessed the script was CG, too.

While not a particularly great film itself, the 1981 take on everybody’s favourite Perseus has gained quite a following over the years - thanks in no small part to Ray Harryhausen’s much-loved effects. Ironically, the 2010 version suffers from its ‘advanced technology’, winding up utterly soulless as it parades its host of ‘Soul Kalibur’ monsters like a Forbidden Planet catalogue.

The effects already look dated and the cartoonish character designs (especially for whatever those desert beings are meant to be) evoke groans rather than whimpers. With the initial fear of Medusa’s disembodied laughter dissolving as soon as we get a look at her face, it’s up to the very-Nordic-and-not-a-bit-Greek Kraken to jump-start the heart a little. Besides the lovely Gemma Arterton, that is.

The 3D is also a let-down, barely noticeable most of the time and dodgy-looking when taking centre stage.

There is some merit in the hint of intelligent debate about humans needing to be free of Gods. The brightest spot, however, is the least showy creature of all: a sleek black Pegasus - one of the few things to elicit a sense of wonder in an otherwise pointless film.



Released in UK cinemas on 2nd April 2010 by Warner Bros.

Written by Polis Loizou.